Energy of Oneself

Finding space within, one can come to the feeling of the flow of energy which passes through this field of consciousness. To observe this gives an impression of the central being of what one is. Coming to this allows a movement from taking oneself as a physical body towards taking oneself as a body of energy, a body of consciousness capable of the observation of a finer movement of existence. It is seeing oneself in a new light, a new mode of this same reality which humanity is placed. This is another dimension of selfhood, a dimension hidden except to those who seek out the nature of reality. It is not separate, but beyond, as the galaxies beyond this planet appear out of reach for the present physical time, this dimension of selfhood is beyond reach for those solely attached to the physical self. The stars are out of reach within and without.

To question what one is in consciousness, through a mode of energetic existence, allows for the expansion into an unknown space. The ordinary way of looking at the existence of a human, as a physical entity, that which is born and dies in time, confines one to a sort of mental prison. There is only so much one can hope to achieve. Where is the end of pleasure seeking, of the search of governmental and societal utopias, of the pursuit of general knowledge? Perhaps this is the wrong question. Where do these things in life take us in the knowledge of what we are in reality. How can a change in physical reality come to alter the certain death of humanity, and more importantly, myself?

Can we begin to see the importance of talking about God, enlightenment, reincarnation, the soul? All these most certainly uncertain and wholly unknown elements of this life can bring about a search for the reality of myself. Why is it that these ideas have any existence in the first place if the only thing ordinarily taken as real is physical space, these physical bodies, orbiting physical stars? They call for a search, not the kind of question and answer search which one is taught in school, that which we suppose is the work of science, or some mathematical equation of life and death, but the kind of personal search which must be undertaken by oneself alone, in order to find the fruition of understanding in this life. Is there a higher order of existence which one can take part in? This is the question to birth a life in search of real universal relevance.

People call it what they like, a religious search, a spiritual search, a search for God, life, existence, the Tao, whatever, but in each of these cases it is a search for one’s own part in the matter of creation. To ignore such an essential question is to already be dead in the world. To look around and find oneself surrounded by the dead is a terrible thought, and a much more terrible reality, but can one find the meaning of it all for oneself, why this must be so in this moment? Why is it that for tens of thousands of years, if not more, humanity has never been able to find utopia, as though this is such a thing which can come into existence on this planet. What is utopia? There seems to always be something missing, something which puts one person over another, always a ladder leading from the poor to the rich, whether literally or metaphorically. It is a search for equality, a search which is always altered because no one knows what it means to be equal. No one knows what it means to exist. So, how could equality be understood when existence itself is taken for granted.

This kind of search for meaning is not one which is meant to lead towards the direction of this is real and that is not, we are physical not metaphysical, or vice versa. It is a search for the Truth of oneself. It is a seeking for a continuation of the search itself. To find a definite answer is to already be off the path for there is always something deeper, something hidden. This hidden place may not be within or without the field of consciousness, but beyond, perhaps transcendent of what is normally taken as reality. A reality not separate, but one which is here always, as this ordinary existence seems to be here always. A body can only do so much, so what is this so called “soul” which can go to heaven? Is the heaven we picture this place where we are kings, living in pure pleasure because we get whatever we ask? Or, is this heaven nonexistent, a blackness, a death and an end, as perhaps some atheistic view may hold? Such answers as these eliminate the search, they are fantasy and lack any real inquiry into this most important matter of oneself.

What is it to study energy fields within consciousness? Is it by observing atoms and subatomic particles as they pass from one physical arena to another through microscopes? Is this the way to understand how energy moves? I think not. It is perhaps a way to understand where energy moves, but in order to understand consciousness as being in a field of energy, it is required that one begins to feel energy, to sense its movement through perception and awareness. Where is awareness taken? Is this not a movement of energy? Mustn’t we first understand such rudimentary questions? Is this awareness of mine attracted to sex, to money, to power over another, to food and drink? How does it move? Can the body be seen as energy in motion? Can one sense how the body sits, how it walks, how it writes, talks, and participates in a situations one finds oneself in? How does it respond to the awakening of emotions; anger, fear, jealousy, joy, sorrow, love? Do thoughts have an energy of their own which can be sensed, felt? Does one bother to ask such questions?

So, without judging anything as good or bad right from the start, can one begin to take in a more complete impression of the essential reality of what one is? A taking in which is an opening up to real knowledge of oneself, a knowledge which isn’t coated with layers of opinions and judgments. Can one open up to the pouring in of life in this moment, right now?