A Short Reflection on Meaning and Money

In an age where we are constantly bombarded by the consumerist mindset, where there is a domination by corporate enterprises, a plethora of videos documenting various lifestyles and activities, exponential technological growth, and a seeming loss of connection with ourselves, where do we begin to find meaning? This question becomes especially important for me now as I desire greater monetary potential to be able to afford a family and its intersection with giving something to the world that is inspiring and impactful. More specifically it questions the bridging of the ideas of production and creation.

Living in the United States, I am surrounded by impressions of people living their dreams in YouTube videos, Instagram stories, blogs, TikTok shorts, among other things. There is no shortage of material explaining “how to get rich” and how to use the systems and technologies to make money. There’s this subtle expectation that because I live in this land of plenty, I should be in a much different place than I am now–a place where I feel a struggle to get by, where I have to consider whether I can afford basic medical expenses, what food I can buy in any given week, and how I can find a safe place to live. There is a legitimate feeling concerning the building up of myself.

I perceive that I am truly privileged. Despite having these concerns, I am able to afford my current living situation, to eat out occasionally, to be able to afford health insurance (although the deductible still makes medical expenses worrisome). I am grateful for what I have, and at the same time there is concern and a desire for more. The thought comes, “if I can’t figure out how to make more, get a better job, feel more secure, find a place big enough to start a family, then how can I move on with my life?” There is a disconnect. There doesn’t seem to be enough time to consider what is truly meaningful to me.

In a given moment of more awareness, I take a deep breath. There is a feeling of fighting myself, a this-or-that attitude. I stop and see that this situation isn’t an either-or. None of the above concerns go away, but I simply allow myself to sit with the fact of their presence. I come back to these worries realizing that they arise from primal instincts – that of survival and reproduction, the desire to be comfortable and taken care of. They are intermixed. Stopping for a moment, I allow the necessary time for feelings and thoughts to fall into their own place so that I can take stock of myself and begin again in a new moment.

It’s important to allow our thoughts and feelings to settle. Not to repress them, just to settle. In their settling, there can be an active engagement with them. I can then begin to address these feelings and concerns from a balanced place. Before, there was an overwhelming anxiety from the flooding of thoughts. That anxiety is still there, but it can be informative rather than domineering. From a place of control, anxiety will overwhelm and shut down the system. From a settled place, anxiety can give voice to these primal instincts that need expression. Anxiety can be cared for, listened to, and understood.

I think meaning has a new chance to begin to enter into the settled state. When there is an internal space established, there can be a conscious engagement with our thoughts and feelings from a kind of distance, as though looking at them from an observer’s vantage point. That observer can then sift through these inner manifestations and gauge their importance. Meaning appears when there is this conscious engagement. It’s not that the desire to make money is bad. Instead, it can simply be secondary to the more important aspects of meaning-making and self-discovery. Making an income is a necessary part of our societal life. However, meaning comes when I am able to address the underlying instincts and feelings that bubble up from the deeper recesses of my mind asking for expression. The question is how to care for both?